no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize