We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
