He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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