whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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