I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize