I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's Friday. Sex?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
