Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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