Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
