i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
