No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
