if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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