And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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