if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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