this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
