I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
