He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
