my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
