Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
