So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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