when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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