Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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