Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
