If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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