dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
