I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
