i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
