I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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