oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
