nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
