Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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