I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
