Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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