I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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