I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
