wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
