Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
