he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
