Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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