By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
