WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
