I think I died a long time ago.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
