so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize