Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
