Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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