Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
