I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
