My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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