He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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