Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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