ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
