just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
