people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
