If that was your dad, he is hot
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
