I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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