Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
