no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize