whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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