I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
