So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
